Download My Fake Fiance (2009) Movie Script PDF

TitleMy Fake Fiance (2009) Movie Script
TagsTypes Creative Writing
File Size170.6 KB
Total Pages22
Document Text Contents
Page 2


-Hey. It's Vince. Is the monkey there?


-How did I do today?

-Not Good

-Damn it. Crap. Yeah, I know the

monkey's looking for me

-Thank You.

So how much do you owe?

I don't know what you're talking about.

You don't realise how transparent you are. Either


owe money or you're being stalked by a monkey.

It's not 'a' monkey. It's 'the' monkey

So how much do you owe 'the' monkey?



-Thank You.

How big a haul would you say they'll take in?

Have you seen the registry? I mean who needs a

People say gambling's throwing your money away.

Plus, when I tried to get them something,

almost all the gifts had already been bought.

And you should see the pile of gifts

she got at the bridal shower.

I bet if you added up over the years, I've

spent 20 grand in wedding gifts.

Yeah, yeah, at least. I guess in real life it's

like a savings account.

We're supposed to get that money back

one day when we get married.

We? Like I'd marry a guy like you.

Really? I was kind of hoping we'd grow old


Besides the hernia and the back spasms,

I think that went very well.

-I owe you one, Moving is the biggest drag there is

-So you still scared?

I have no margin for error. I put all my savings

into the down payment. What if I get laid off?

Am I crazy for doing this?

Look, you've been saving for six years to buy your

first place.

You'll be fine. As long as you don't buy food or


or, God forbid, turn on a light.

Ugh. Well, my whole food thing is overrated.

I'll just really miss this place. Seven years,

three boyfriends, four crash diets.

Ugh. That cabbage and cayenne-pepper thing

almost killed me.

I'm just gonna go take one last look around.

All right, I'll use the little boys' room.

It's great that you're moving into Courtney and

Steve's building.

Yeah, I wouldn't have found the apartment


I meant that they'll be there to help us unload on

the other end.

Don't you wish? They're still on their honeymoon.

-I'll meet you outside.


-Uh, Jennifer?

-Alright. I'll put it back.

Can I show you something?

-What happened?

-There's a slight possibility that I might have

left the keys in the ignition.

You are no longer my gay boyfriend.

Be the coffee maker. Be the coffee maker.

The Monkey sends his regards.

Fellas, how sweet. You decided to stop by, huh?

A phone call would have sufficed.

Yeah, listen, you've got something for him.

You have to tell the monkey I need some more


Fellas, come on. There's got to be a choice.

There's always a choice, right?

Yeah, like we can leave you in here on the floor in


crumpled mess or out there on the tracks.

I'll let you decide.

Those are the only choices?

That's a bad cough, Vince. You might want to get


checked out.

- Now, we'll be back next week. Either you have

Page 11


- I can't do this.

- This is too heavy?

No, I'm talking about my parents. I can't let them

pay for our wedding.

You're giving them joy. Why would you want to

hurt their feelings?

Please. They've been hurting my feelings for years.

It's payback.

I'm sorry. I can't let them pay for our fake


- Did they pay for Bonnie's wedding?

- Of course.

- Was it nice?

It was OK if you're into that sort of thing - custom

Vera Wang dresses,

horse-drawn carriages, a flock of doves released

when they kissed.

My mom still cries when she talks about it.

See? They just want to share that same number

with you.

- You're good.

- I'm just saying let them pay for the wedding.

Then when and if you meet Mr Right - it's a big if

- you can elope.

- Look, we are going to pay them back.

- It's why we're having the wedding. We have no


I have a monkey on my back, and you have an

empty apartment.

We're going to pay them back if it takes 10 years,

OK? 50/50,

remember? Giving gives you joy.

- I didn't sign up for ten years.

- Well, if you don't like the terms, go find another

fake fiancee.

- Fine. We'll pay them back.

- Swear on it.

I swear.

Oh, my God.

- Ooh, it's time for Sports Centre.

- I'm so looking forward to our divorce.


- Hey.

- What are you doing up?

I couldn't sleep, so I made myself a little snack.

Thought my business

partner might like some.

- Is that tiramisu?

- Yeah. My mom's an amazing cook.

Taught me everything I know. Well, night.


-'Fox puts it up on the left-hand side of the back


- Yes!

Jen, I can't get over your new place. I love what

you've done with it.

- Thanks, Dad. I was going for the sweaty-locker-

room feel.

- You nailed it.

Don't worry. We'll go register at Not Just Sofas.

All of this will go.

- So, what are you ladies talking about over here?

- Just making plans.

- Oh. Wow. What is that number right there?

- Uh, that is the price per head.

Is that the price for a real human head? Because if

not, it's way

too expensive

Weddings aren't cheap, Vince. Don't worry. Al and

I have got it covered.

- Honey, remember our mantra - less food, more


- Listen to that boy. He makes good sense.

- Sweetie? We're throwing a wedding, not a

tailgate party.

- We lucked out, Vince.

The country club had a cancellation for April 25th.

Can you imagine?

Less than a month before the wedding? Poor soul.

Oh, well, I guess one girl's heartbreak is another

girl's special day, hmm?

So, your first counselling session with Reverend

Jim - it's Tuesday night.

Counselling session?

You just go in and chat with the Reverend about

your relationship

Page 12


and the hopes and fears you have about marriage.

Oh, a lot of touchy-feely mumbo-jumbo if you ask


What will we talk about?

Mom, remember I told you Vince is not very

religious. Do you think

maybe Reverend Jim would make an exception?

He will not perform the ceremony unless you go

through counselling first.

Just say, 'yes, dear', It's two of the most important

words to a successful marriage.

Yes, dear.

Honey, have you thought about colours? 'Cause

I'm thinking teal, huh?

It's one of those few colours that doesn't wash you


-There she is.

-Hi, Mom.

Look at you. Give me a hug. Oh, you're just so


I'm sorry, honey. I would've been here sooner, but

I got lost.

I always get lost in a full moon. So, introduce me.

- Hi.

- Uh, everybody, this is my mother, Catherine.

Mom, these are Jennifer's parents. This is Val.

Oh, it is so good to meet you. Oh... You smell

wonderful. Like saffron.

- Thank you.

- And that is Al.

- Al.

- Oh. So, can we call you Mrs G.?

- Uh, actually, I don't...

- Well, you can call me whatever moves you.

And you must be Jennifer. Oh! Oh.

I am sure that you hear this all the time, but you


the most beautiful aura.

Actually, that's a first.

Well, it's true. It's purple and orange and swirls of

magenta. I can tell that

you are a very passionate lover. Good work, son.

Oh, let me see the two of you together. Click. Now

I have an announcement

to make. I'm sure that Vince has told you a little

bit about our family.

He did. I hope someday we get to meet that


- Who?

- Mom, you and I should talk about this in private.

It's OK, honey. These people are family now.

As you know, Vince's father abandoned us to

pursue his dream

of selfish isolation.

You've got to have goals.

Luckily, my son is an Aries with a Saturn rising,

so he perseveres.

But a few days ago, out of the blue, his father

called. It seems that

he's having regrets about some of the decisions

that he made.

And when I told him about Vince's wedding, he

offered to pay

for half of it.

- Well, that's fantastic.

- No. We can't let him pay.

We can't? I think we can. I think we should. I

mean, how can we

deny him that joy?

I'm not letting him pay.

See? Now this is the perfect thing to talk about

with Reverend Jim.

Who's Tootie?

- OK, well, that wasn't so bad.

- Can I just say one more thing?

Sure. Express yourself.

He refuses to go see his dad. You know, it's clear

he has abandonment

issues, but I just feel that rather than avoiding

them, he should

he should confront them head-on. It would really

help with his

personal growth.

She's the one who's still desperately searching for

approval from her

parents, so I really wish she would leave my

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